A Panty Party

There can be many more trials and tribulations to being a Pet Nanny than people realize. It's not a career for the faint ... or impatient. From one of my very early gigs, I had one of the pets in my care die from an epileptic seizure. I had to re-evaluate my 'career choice' at the time. Do I really want to do this? But I figured what were the chances of that happening again? Within the following two years, two more pets died in my care. I was beginning to feel like the Dr. Kevorkian of animals. One friend even invited me to her house to visit in the hopes that I would take her 18 year old pooch in to be put down because she couldn't do it. She figured I must be good at that by now. I declined that offer. Thanks anyway.

Besides those three furry fatal incidences, there are other hazards to the pet nanny business. Pets might have health issues, require medication, make a mess in the house for example. The other day, while sitting for two adorable little dachshunds, I came home to find them running to the front door to greet me. Already this is alarming because they are to be penned in the kitchen. Clearly they've busted out of the gate somehow. I enter the house cautiously and begin to check around for damages. Immediately I notice dog poo on the sitting room carpet. Quite a bit of poo....but it's firm, easy to pick up and didn't leave any stains. Whew.

I continue to survey the house for any other signs of disarray. Upon reaching the top of the stairs I notice my plastic laundry bag which was sitting next to my suitcase is empty of all my underwear. Three pairs of underwear are strewn in the hallway. I pick them up and two have the crotch eaten out of them! Completely gone. Okay, so this is a little bit funny...and a little bit disgusting! Someone spent the day snacking on my panties! I keep looking around and I see the pillows on the beds are all smashed down. They've obviously been up on the beds partying. I walk past the master bedroom walk in closet and glance in and there I see another pair of pink lacy numbers abandoned. I pick them up. NO CROTCH.

I don't see any more so I go on about my business, fluffing pillows, setting waste baskets upright. I get to thinking about the underwear I've been wearing all week and am certain I'm missing a few pairs. So I start the hunt. I look under beds, inside beds, behind doors. I go back into the walk in closet and get down on my hands and knees and search behind the hanging clothes. Sure enough, there in the back corner is a whole pile of panties! All ruined. All crotchless!

What I found a bit disturbing is the night before I couldn't get my "boyfriend" interested in getting into my panties at all, but here's this dog that, apparently, can't get enough of them!

Later I found one more black and pink lacy number in some random spot waiting to be discovered. Sheesh, I hope I've found them all now. I can only imagine what the owners would think if they found a pair (or two) of crotchless underwear stuffed under their pillow or something. What kind of crazy crotch eating orgy is their pet nanny having in their $2 million home??? SEVEN pair of Victoria Secret panties destroyed! For the next few days I was sure I'd see pieces of lace or elastic in the poo as I was poopy scooping. Someone had to have been having a serious tummy ache.

My 15 year old niece had given me three pair of new VS panties for Christmas. She must have had a premonition. Good call, Alexa, I need them!