Happy Super New Year

As new year's resolutions go, I rarely make them. If I do, I forget what they were within a short time. Not that I fail to stick to them, or get lazy. I quite literally forget what I even said...or wrote down. If I do make a resolution, I attempt to be positive. You know, like "I will be a better friend" or "I will take time to volunteer." I don't bother promising to quit anything. "I'll quit being late to work and social appointments," "I'll quit being a pain in the @$$". Naaw. I know I won't quit anything, so better to try to just be better at something I already do a little bit at least. Gives you a fighting chance anyway. A head start.

This year, however, I am going to have to make a resolution. When I left for Europe five plus years ago, I was on a quest to simplify. And simplify I did. I lived out of a suitcase, I traveled light, I lived on cash only for the most part. Public transport, my own hooves, or 50cc moped were my main modes of transportation for three and a half years. I wore clothes out before discarding and replacing them. I had a small handful of friends in any given city I lived and my social life was meeting up for coffee or a drink between English lessons, going sight seeing and out dancing on the weekend. Life was definitely simple.

Upon my return to Seattle in March 2006, I've tried to maintain that simplified lifestyle. And it seems that the more I attempt to maintain it, the more out of control my life gets. I'm not sure how that happened. First of all, I am working several jobs that have me running all over town via a very poor public transit system and earning very little money in the process(Stress #1). If I do have use of a friend's car, I find myself driving around my neighborhood far too long looking for a place to park the beast (Stress #2). I have so much on my plate, I am perpetually late to everything which I think is beginning to drive my friends crazy (Stress #3). And I don't blame them. By the time I arrive I'm frazzled and have some drama to relay(Stress #4). I have the "I can't say no" disease (Stress #5). I have the hardest time saying no to people. "No, I can't get together anytime soon." "No, I can't watch your pet for two weeks." "No, I can't host a house guest." I actually want to do all of these things. I want to see my friends, meet for dinners, host out of towners, babysit animals. The problem is I just can't. And I need to accept that I really just can't. Besides all those wants, I want to workout regularly, I want to go to my yoga classes, I want to take a writing class and I want to have time to read...and nap. So when I say YES to everyone else's requests, I am saying no to all those other things I need as well. There are, unfortunately, only so many hours in a day and I need to be more selective....and balanced!

Besides realizing I must be driving my friends nuts with my frazzle puss life, I had an eye opening doctor visit last Monday. My blood pressure was alarmingly high! Like my 'head should be popping off' kind of high. What? I pride myself on being healthy as a horse. How could I have high blood pressure? I eat fairly healthfully. I walk every day even though I haven't been to yoga for a couple of weeks. I am not a total Fatty McAss. I don't smoke and drink only in moderation. What gives? What gives is family history of heart disease I'm sure. What gives is I'm 44 friggin' years old and shit is starting to happen. What gives is I really need to get back to that idea of simplification and learn to just say "NO" when necessary. Some people are great at juggling a thousand things and coming off looking calm and elegant in the process. I don't have that knack. I don't see a cape tied to my neck. I'm no super hero that's for certain. But I do plan to have a super more simple year!