Always the Demanding Lion

Previously, I was aghast at being referred to as #8's "girlfriend" after only three dates. Remember my response? It went something like "Girlfriend? Girlfriend? How can I be a girlfriend after only three dates?" blah blah blah. A week ago Saturday, we were coming back from skiing and he got a call on his cell. Apparently, the friend asked him who he'd been skiing with and #8 replied "a girlfriend." What? "A" girlfriend. Now I'm suddenly demoted from "my girlfriend" to just "a" girlfriend? How many other girlfriends are there exactly? I'm having this frantic dialog in my head like some kind of insecure ... well...girlfriend. I could have easily given him the business and jokingly asked him about the 'a' girlfriend status, but I didn't. I realized I was being silly and let it go.

However, I am confused by this girlfriend status based on the amount of time we spend together. I am still only seeing this fella about once every 7-10 days ... or longer due to his fatherhood duties. It's the middle of January and I've only seen this guy once this month. Is that couple behavior? Not in my world. It's just occasional dating where I come from. He's had to cancel our plans three times in the past two weeks due to his ex-wife calling to request he either take their daughter a day earlier or keep her a day later. I certainly understand that the daughter will always come before the 'girlfriend' but it's starting to get on my nerves a bit. I'm not being treated as a girlfriend. I'm being treated as someone who is pretty much of no importance whatsoever. Makes it a bit tough to get too attached to this character. Getting to know each other is a slow process at this rate. I'm reminded of why I never date men with children living at home.

Clearly no one in his life seems to be aware of my existence. I'm like the secret mistress. He told me during our first date that he didn't introduce his daughter to women he dates until it's more serious. That is understandable and I agree with that MO 100%. However, she is 14 years old and she, in my opinion, is old enough to at least know her dad has a girlfriend. He could tell her the same thing, "I'd rather not introduce you until I know it's more serious." She's not a baby. She'll understand. It just seems that maybe if his people knew I existed, they might possibly be a bit more sensitive toward his time...think twice before asking him for additional custody days unnecessarily. And these requests do seem to be of the non-emergency type based on what I'm told. The other issue here is that of #8's responsibility. Is it so much to ask him to simply say "I have plans tonight, Ex-wife, can you make other arrangements?" Apparently, it is at this stage. It's a tough position right now. It's only been a couple of months. Early days and all. I like the going slowish idea, and I am a busy person with a life so don't want to be suffocated. However, I also wouldn't mind being able to make a plan with him and count on it happening. If I ever actually get him alone again, I will have a nice calm discussion about this Leo's needs over a glass of vino.