A couple of months ago, I came across one of those online tests to determine whether your man is a "keeper" or not. You know the ones. The tests that are right up there with "Ten Ways to Tell if Your Guy is Cheating" and "Top Five Favorite Fantasies". So I see this 'keeper' quiz and decide to look into it further just to see what they have to say.
1. He's willing to put you first.
Is my guy willing to put me first? Absolutely. He goes out of his way to make sure I'm taken care of before looking after his own needs. I try to protest, but to no avail. Okay, he passes the first test. By the way, I show him appropriate amounts of appreciation.
2. He's there for me in a crisis.
We haven't had much in the way of true crisis, but he's definitely been there for those little annoying inconvenient troubled times, so I'm pretty sure he'd be there in an actual crisis. I'll keep you posted if in a real crisis, he fails to deliver, but I somehow doubt that will be the case.
Yes, I'm overly optimistic.
3. He appreciates your quirks.
This one is HUGE. Mainly because I have a lot of quirks. One of the items on my list of required characteristics in a man (I developed this list during the separation from my ex-husband nine years ago) is that he accept and embrace my quirks...and simply let me be me.
My fella is constantly pointing out how "cute" my quirks are. I am fully aware that those things he is finding endearing today, will drive him crazy in the future. So I thank him profusely. I should probably have him write this stuff down and sign it, so that in the future when he complains about said quirk, I can whip out the sheet of paper and say "see, you loved this about me in the beginning!"
4. He shows you how much he cares.
He does...all the time. And I continue to show him appropriate amounts of appreciation.
5. He is kind.
Not only is he kind to me, which is of course important, but he is kind to everyone else. Very admirable and actually a turn on.
6. He's consistent.
There is nothing more crazy making than a guy who is up, down, and all over the place. You never know what to expect with regard to mood or actions. Consistency could equal boring to some women, women who indulge in those "bad boy" types. I happen to like a guy I can count on and know what to expect. A little surprise now and again is exciting, but overall, I like knowing what I'm in for.
7. He wants to build a life with you.
Okay, this is a tricky one. What do we mean by "building a life" exactly? Marriage, babies, moving in? I guess for everyone that means something different. Maybe the statement should read "wants to build a relationship with you". Some people have lives they've built on their own. They might have homes of their own and have no intention of co-habitation again, successful careers, or kids from previous marriages. They may be in their 50's, 60's or 70's and not be thinking of building a life together. They may simply want a companion to enjoy the life they've already built. This question might be suitable for 20-something year olds I suppose.
8. He can handle your emotions.
Again, we haven't been together long enough for any "emotions" to surface. I haven't even seen a tear jerker movie with him yet, I'm not one to get PMSy, in general, I don't have a temper, and until menopause strikes, I'm not sure about the answer to this question.
9. He fights fair.
We are still in the gooey happy couple stage. A first fight has yet to ensue.
10. He's a grown up. Competent and confident in managing his own life.
Hallelujah! Yes, he is definitely all those things, while still being young, adventurous and fun.
In all fairness, I thought it only appropriate to read the companion article "Is She a Keeper?"
1. She cooks your favorite meal for no reason.
I stopped there. No need to read any further. These quizzes are just stupid and immature.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Happy Twenty-Eleven
I think the rule is saying "happy new year" anytime within the month of January is still proper etiquette. So Happy New Year!
New Year's Resolutions are either well underway by now or have already been forgotten or blatantly dismissed and abandoned. People might say after a couple of weeks of attempting quitting smoking, "Oh, what was I thinking? It's hibernation time. I'll try again in the spring." I don't really blame them.
January is a tough month for many- the after holidays blues, dreary gray weather, promises of dieting and weight loss, contemplating the past year and making new [most likely unachievable] goals for 2011. It's rather exhausting. Or maybe it's just me. I start out the first of the year with a bang of energy. Rarin' to sign up for a dozen classes, get back to into my full exercise routine, list all my goals and quickly become overwhelmed by my extensive unrealistic list of dreams and wear myself out into a lie down on the sofa with a good book instead.
As I was taking down my Christmas cards recently, feeling semi-guilty for not sending out my usual bundle of cards this holiday season, I came across a card my friend, Adele, sent me from Lisbon last year. Inside she wrote:
"2010 Preview:
A wild and fantastic love life
An adventurous career
Fulfillment of dreams"
Inside the card she included a pressed four leaf clover from her garden, which I cherish. As a kid, I spent hours hunting for a four leaf clover in our lush green lawn never to find even one, so to have Adele send me one from her garden 5,000 miles away was special. I began reflecting on her "preview" of 2010.
A couple weeks ago, while walking with another friend, she reminded me of what a fantastic year 2010 was for me. Just as I had been lamenting over lack of employment in the early part of last year, I received a phone call which ultimately led to getting my old job back. It's not an ideal job. It's not my dream job. But in this crazy economy it's a sorely needed job and I'm very thankful for it.
I'd always had a pipe dream of learning to ride a motorcycle. Once employed and earning a regular paycheck, I took the Motorcycle Safety Foundation Course in the spring and, by the end of the summer, bought my own motorcycle. I'm still learning to ride the thing, but am loving it and can't wait for spring to get more miles and experience under my belt.
Through my desire to learn to ride a motorcycle and having started back at my new/old job, I was re-united with an old co-worker friend who soon became a love interest and, by fall, we were dating. I now seem to be part of a happy couple. That was certainly unexpected and snuck up on me out of the blue. Just as the saying goes "when you're not looking, you'll meet someone."
So yes, 2010 was a good year for me, as well as for many of my friends. Marriages, graduations, grad school, moves, new jobs, new homes, and adventurous travel were among the great events of many of my pals' lives. Even in a crap economy people are making the most of their lives and that is inspiring.
What does 2011 have in store for me? That's a good question. There will be more travel (last year's travel opportunities were few) and more romance with Mr. Wonderful (I am optimistic). The rest of the year is unknown at this point. I will go for a long walk, do some yoga, eat a bowl of cereal and figure out my life. Yeah, I may need more protein if I've got my whole life to figure out.
New Year's Resolutions are either well underway by now or have already been forgotten or blatantly dismissed and abandoned. People might say after a couple of weeks of attempting quitting smoking, "Oh, what was I thinking? It's hibernation time. I'll try again in the spring." I don't really blame them.
January is a tough month for many- the after holidays blues, dreary gray weather, promises of dieting and weight loss, contemplating the past year and making new [most likely unachievable] goals for 2011. It's rather exhausting. Or maybe it's just me. I start out the first of the year with a bang of energy. Rarin' to sign up for a dozen classes, get back to into my full exercise routine, list all my goals and quickly become overwhelmed by my extensive unrealistic list of dreams and wear myself out into a lie down on the sofa with a good book instead.
As I was taking down my Christmas cards recently, feeling semi-guilty for not sending out my usual bundle of cards this holiday season, I came across a card my friend, Adele, sent me from Lisbon last year. Inside she wrote:
"2010 Preview:
A wild and fantastic love life
An adventurous career
Fulfillment of dreams"
Inside the card she included a pressed four leaf clover from her garden, which I cherish. As a kid, I spent hours hunting for a four leaf clover in our lush green lawn never to find even one, so to have Adele send me one from her garden 5,000 miles away was special. I began reflecting on her "preview" of 2010.
A couple weeks ago, while walking with another friend, she reminded me of what a fantastic year 2010 was for me. Just as I had been lamenting over lack of employment in the early part of last year, I received a phone call which ultimately led to getting my old job back. It's not an ideal job. It's not my dream job. But in this crazy economy it's a sorely needed job and I'm very thankful for it.
I'd always had a pipe dream of learning to ride a motorcycle. Once employed and earning a regular paycheck, I took the Motorcycle Safety Foundation Course in the spring and, by the end of the summer, bought my own motorcycle. I'm still learning to ride the thing, but am loving it and can't wait for spring to get more miles and experience under my belt.
Through my desire to learn to ride a motorcycle and having started back at my new/old job, I was re-united with an old co-worker friend who soon became a love interest and, by fall, we were dating. I now seem to be part of a happy couple. That was certainly unexpected and snuck up on me out of the blue. Just as the saying goes "when you're not looking, you'll meet someone."
So yes, 2010 was a good year for me, as well as for many of my friends. Marriages, graduations, grad school, moves, new jobs, new homes, and adventurous travel were among the great events of many of my pals' lives. Even in a crap economy people are making the most of their lives and that is inspiring.
What does 2011 have in store for me? That's a good question. There will be more travel (last year's travel opportunities were few) and more romance with Mr. Wonderful (I am optimistic). The rest of the year is unknown at this point. I will go for a long walk, do some yoga, eat a bowl of cereal and figure out my life. Yeah, I may need more protein if I've got my whole life to figure out.
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