From the Land Down Under

I do a fair amount of walking all over this city, up hills and stairs and running for buses, I practice yoga a couple times a week, have a light weight routine I do regularly and have been on a few hikes in our scenic and impressive Mt. Baker National Park this summer. I started a salsa class and enjoy golf, or at least getting to the driving range when I can. I try to eat relatively healthfully baring the occasional happy hour. I wouldn't call my lifestyle 'sedentary', although I don't compete in marathons, triathlons or any other such 'ons'. Even so, I've got this tummy issue that seems to be hindering my self-esteem. Furthermore, there are those few outfits that warrant special undergarments to assist in the belly control, while I'm working on whittling it away. I've resisted the purchase of such garments insisting that I will get rid of the unsightly gut. Why pay for special and expensive undergarments when the answer is clearly STOP EATING. So simple,right? Well, after catching a friend snickering at my 'big girl panties' showing through a clingyish dress in an effort to pull in the pooch, I gave up.

A trip to the lingerie department was in order. I'd put it off long enough. I was making headway on the tummy issue, but then started a temporary desk job and seem to have had a backward slide.


I bypassed Macy's and Victoria Secret and went straight for the Taj Mahal of lingerie; Nordstrom. I am not a huge Nordstrom shopper these days. As a matter of fact I avoid going into that store at all cost. However, when it comes to lingerie, they are "the man." I've made several purchases at other stores in an effort to save a dime only to be disappointed in the product. I now don't waste my time and money.

Cute, petite and twenty-something Whitney was helping me today with my tummy bulge, trying to convince me that she has the same problem. Uh huh, sure. She loaded me up with tummy controlling options and dropped me into a dressing room where the horror show began. Here is the lowdown:


The Hanky Panky lace high rise thong at $23 was certainly sexy and comfortable, but did not provide nearly enough tummy support. I'll keep that one in mind for general every day wear. I know some of my friends swear by that brand, but they are a bit steep on the wallet for an every day pantie.

Next, I wrestled into a Spanx Hide and Sleek full slip at $72.00. Although I was wearing a bra and panties, no lines showed through. However, I did feel like a stuffed sausage and not all that comfortable. It was a bit overkill, not to mention warm. However, the heat could have been a result of the effort it took to get into it. Golly, I hope there aren't two way mirrors or video surveillance cameras in those dressing rooms. What a show I would have provided! If worn under a dress, I am not sure I'd feel comfortable dancing, eating, or even sitting down in this garment.

The Yummie Tummie camisole at $62.00 was almost what I was after. The belly support was perfect, however, the garment is meant to be worn over, say, jeans and under a T-shirt with the bottom part sticking out giving a layered effect. Uhhh, not what I'm after. I need something to wear under some clingy dresses.

The Body Wrap boy short was a bargain at $28.00, but it felt like wearing bike shorts. I just can't feel comfortable wearing something that feels like I got off my bike and threw on a dress. I saw a girl the other day on the bus turn to sit down. Her purse caught her skirt and lifted up and voila, there were her 'bike shorts' flashing the other passengers. Okay, better than flashing commando, or a thong, but I just don't care for the bike shorts under my skirts. Again, just too much extra fabric.

Whitney went in the back to drum up a little secret hidden gem. She excitedly presented me with a "Fifty's Vintage Style" pantie with all kinds of panels and technological hoo ha that is functional, yet sexy. Okay, these are reminiscent of something my mother would have worn in her hay day. My mother, mind you, was born in 1923. You get the picture.

Another Yummie Tummie full slip was sleek and comfortable, but didn't really offer much in the way of support at all. Whitney told me she was wearing the same slip at that moment. Whitney is 110 lb soaking wet. I can hardly take her testimony seriously.

The final garment and the one I went home with is a Spanx Haute Couture lace thong. I can't even tell you what I paid for this tiny piece of fabric because it's unfathomable. I think there's a plane ticket to somewhere for less money. However, it was amazing. It hit in all the right places. It tucked in all the right places. It was still sexy. I didn't feel like I was wearing a girdle by another name (body shaper, body wrap, boy shorts, yummie tummie, spanx....they're all still modern day 'girdles.') Whitney said many customers who buy this pantie come back for another pair or two because they love them so much. I actually believe her.

As I was handing over my payment, i.e. VISA, to Whitney and promising to treat my new purchase with kid gloves, I was also promising [myself] that I would reduce this problem area so I would not have to return for another pair....ever.