Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Let the Best (Wo)Man Win

My wonderful friends and family all over the country (and globe even) are vying for me to move to their hometowns. When I first came back to the states, I stayed a few weeks in Syracuse, NY with my brother and his wife. It was Dec/Jan (read knee deep in snow) and my brother was doing the sales pitch the entire time. I commented on how lovely their home was "Oh, you can pick one of these up for about a hundred grand," my brother said. "They are a dime a dozen." He proceeded to take me out on the town every afternoon and wine and dine me for lunch some place fun and quirky. He introduced me to his friends and colleagues. Even on the way to the airport, he leaned his head to the backseat where I was planted and said "we even have an international airport here." What they don't have? Water. There is no large body of water surrounding this cozy, artsy little university town. He couldn't argue with me there. However, the offer seems to always be open if I ever need a place to stay. They probably feel safe keeping that offer open knowing there is a slim chance of me taking them up on it any time soon. But believe me, I've considered it. More than once.

When I headed west, I thought I'd only be in Seattle for about six months before moving on to a new city. My friend in San Diego was pushing Southern Cal so much, I was pretty sure I'd pack my entire storage unit into a U-Haul and head south. However, after a brief visit to San Diego, I wasn't exactly smitten. It didn't really resonate with me. I'll think about it. We'll see. I've visited again since that first time, and it seemed more appealing. Maybe it could grow on me. The weather was certainly nice. This very eager San Diego friend set me up with a possible job opportunity this summer, but that didn't pan out. Maybe that's my answer.



My friend in Austin hasn't let up about how wonderful Austin is since she moved there two years ago. It's a city that consistently crops up on those "best places to live" lists. Her husband was offered a HUGE promotion if he would have agreed to move back to Seattle with the company. After much deliberation, he and his wife said "no way." They love Austin too much. The same sentiment I received from every person I met while I was visiting last month who'd moved there from various parts of the country. They'd never live anywhere else. Interesting.

My cousin outside of Denver says, "my vote is Denver...it's surrounded by the Rocky Mountains." Yes, there is beautiful too. And I do love to ski, hike and play golf.

San Francisco, Lisbon, London. Everyone has a viable reason why I should come live in their amazing city. And let's not forget Seattle. My friends here are doing their level best to keep me camped right here in Sunny Seattle. I receive daily craigslist ads from my sister-in-law and another friend. Others are sending me websites and contacts for companies and jobs for which they think I'd be suitable. I appreciate the work everyone is putting into this little project.

I've been sending out applications in droves, but so far nothing has panned out. Besides the usual rejection notices, I feel that my applications just go into a black hole somewhere. I keep telling myself I haven't found a job yet, because the right job hasn't come along. At least that is what I keep telling myself, so don't go bringing me down with some other theory.

Basically, I'll live almost anywhere in the world. So whoever finds me that perfect (or semi-perfect) job, wins.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Father of the Bride

Sales down at the bridal warehouse are pitiful. No one is making goals. Brides are not buying. Summer weddings are bought for and no one is quite ready to buy for summer 2010. Can you blame them? I wouldn't know what I'd want to wear next week, no less a year from now.

One of these 2010 brides came in last week with her father. When she introduced me to him as her father, I about fainted. He looked way too young to be this girl's father. Did she really mean father, as in my paternal father, or father as in "Dad-Dad-Daddy-O?" She told me her parents were divorced when she was three, so I'm thinking it was a high school sweetheart situation. And maybe they were still in high school when they got divorced. Other than his youth (my age bracket for sure), I also noticed that he was HOT. While trying to focus on my bride, her gown choices, and making sure she felt special and princess-like, I was wondering how to bring up the topic of her father. Would it be inappropriate to ask if her father was available? I was trying to give eye contact and flirt in a professional "I'm not really flirting, but paying attention to your beautiful daughter who is my client" kind of way. I gave the bride my card, as I always do, but should have given one to her dad. Now I just have to hope she comes back into the shop and brings him with her.

Other dating news:

I met a guy a few weeks ago when I went out with the girls after work to a karaoke bar. Mr. Karaoke was paying close attention to our table of girls all night, but not in a creepy sort of way. Gradually, my co-workers fizzled out and I was left standing solo with Mr. Karaoke. Now whether he asked me for my number because we were the only two people in the bar over 40, or whether it was because all of my friends had retreated, or if he actually found me interesting, I'm not sure. But I did give him my number.

He called promptly and we talked for awhile and then he asked me out on a proper date. After doing the scheduling dance for a bit, we determined the following Sunday would work for both of us. The very next day, he called to invite me to his company Christmas Party that Thursday. Apparently, it had been cancelled due to snow storms and they were finally getting around to it in May. Okay, first of all, we had just had a rather lengthy discussion about our schedules and how I wasn't available on Thursday. Was I suddenly going to change plans? More alarmingly, he was asking me to his company Christmas Party as a FIRST DATE. I just find that a bit strange. Everyone is bringing their significant others and he is going to bring someone he just met. "So how do you know Mr. K?" a co-worker might ask. "Oh, we just met at karaoke on Saturday. This is our first date. What can you tell me about him?"

As it turned out our first date (on the originally scheduled Sunday) included a trip to the top of the Space Needle, a dinner at Belltown Bistro and a complete walk to my front door. Now that is a proper date. I was so impressed I almost didn't know how to act! It was really nice.

The next day he informed me that our old Alma Mater was closing its doors and there was a huge gala with closing ceremony and party following the next weekend. I'm not really into old high school reunions, gatherings and the like, but didn't want to be rude about it. Clearly he was pretty excited and really wanted to take me. I tried to play it down and skirt the topic. I thought I successfully avoided the issue, when after our second date (an even nicer dinner at Cutters), he dropped me at my front door again and said "so we're going to have to figure out how to get you to that LHS event." I just laughed, said I'd be out of town and he could tell me all about it.

While I was out of town, he sent me a text message (no he did not "text" me) saying "call me tomorrow and let me know if you're up for going to the LHS party." Sheesh, ya stalker, how many times do I need to say "no thanks?" I explained that due to late flights, me working, unknown schedule, I had to decline, but thank you and let me know how it is.

I finally decided that Mr. K is just one of those guys who feels like he needs to have a date to things. He doesn't want to go into parties and other social situations alone. Why else would he be so insistent on my company to such events? Hope there are no weddings coming up in the near future. I couldn't afford the outfit.

Missed Opportunities:

The other day I was standing in line at a pizza joint for a slice on my way home from work. I had been out of town for a week and had no groceries. I was starving after a full and long day of dressing and undressing brides and didn't want to head into the Safeway hungry or I'd be up and down every aisle buying far too many inappropriate items. There were no pizzas available in the pizza joint and I wasn't prepared to wait and left.

Suddenly, while standing at the corner waiting for the light, the man who I'd been chit chatting with in line at the pizza joint came up behind me.
"Excuse me, are you single?" he asked. Like a deer caught in the headlights, I was stunned by such a simple question to which I was sure I knew the answer. "Uh, not exactly," I said.
He then offered to take me for Thai food across the street. I thanked him profusely and assured him how nice an offer that was and went on my way, leaving him feeling uncomfortable and dejected. I'm, however, walking away guiltily feeling like crap. I could tell from our brief encounter that he isn't my type and it would be wrong to lead him on by accepting his offer of a free meal. However, it'd be mean to say I am single but I simply don't want to go out with him. Later I decided it would have been easy to simply say "I am just starting to date someone and don't feel comfortable going out with others at this time." Why can't I think of that stuff on the fly? Now I'm keeping my eyes peeled for this character in my hood so I can talk to him again. It was a very nice gesture and I want to encourage him to keep up the bold moves.

Barista Boy:
He still uses his low talking, big blue eyed technique of wooing me and suggesting we "hang out." So far Mrs. Robinson is steering clear.

Nothing else going on in the dating or non-dating world. Just waiting for my bride to bring her father back for my enjoyment.

The Not-So-Reality TV

How can people watch that Bachelorette show and take it seriously? Or even find it entertaining as far as that goes? Where's the challenge? Where's the entertainment? You take an already beautiful, young woman, who has a successful career and wants to be married and have a family, make her even more beautiful with designer clothes, professional hair and makeup, introduce her to a dozen (or more?) successful, handsome men who also want to be married and have a family, and see who she picks. Sure each week there is some drama between the contestants vying for her attention. Sure there's the dramatic rose ceremony where she boots out the ones with whom she feels there is no "chemistry." All the while the music is escalating, the drums rolling, and with each presentation of the rose, there are sighs of relief. You'd think something real was hanging in the balance. And don't tell me these people have feelings that are "real" at this point. They just met for crying out loud.

I sound like I know far too much about this show to criticize. I come home from work tired and hungry. Prop my legs up with a big salad and grab my remote. One round of clicking, I discover there is nothing on, but I land on The Bachelorette and like a bad car accident, I can't turn away.

During the commercials I leave the room to change out of my work clothes and get so sidetracked, I forget I'm even watching TV. When I return to my living room I realize I've missed some drama. The Bachelorette is crying about something. What did I miss? I'm annoyed that I'm even watching this show at all, then I'm annoyed that I missed something, and then I'm annoyed that I'm even annoyed about missing some staged drama.

And that Bachelorette seems to always be crying about something. Whenever they show the clips of what happened last week, she is crying. She is crying this week. And then they show clips of next week's episode and she's crying. Okay, ya big baby, you're dating loads of gorgeous boys, in beautiful settings and money is no object. Stop your belly aching.


In my constant effort to come up with new and interesting (and lucrative) reality TV shows, I've got a far better idea. How about taking a middle aged, average looking woman, who lacks a proper career (anyone you might know?), doctor her up to look fabulous on TV (this feat may actually require a doctor), and without revealing to the men (handsome, successful, interesting ones, of course) her lack of career, assets or financial security, see how hard they compete for her hand. That sounds way more fun.