I Already Have a Husband

Apparently, according to my friends, I already have a husband. My "Office Husband." A.K.A. my BOSS. Eeeew. Every time I tell a boss story, a friend says something like "Oh, he loves you," or "oh, your 'husband'. At first it was a little disconcerting, but now it just creeps me out!



And they are right. It's like we're a couple. The guy won't eat lunch alone so we go out to eat in Ballard quite often. I'm just sure the cutie waiter at Bad Albert's wonders if we're a couple. We've both paid for the lunch before using the company credit card which also shows our names are different. Hopefully, he's caught on to that. The waitresses at Vera's, I'm certain, think we are a couple. And we always go shopping together at the Ballard Market for kitchen supplies. Grocery store shopping is most definitely a 'couple' activity. Yuk yuk and double yuk. The other day I made him go alone because I had actual work to get done. He pouted.



I stayed home sick one day a few weeks ago. By ten o'clock he'd already called me three times. Once was to ask me where he could buy a coffee maker because ours at the office was broken. If that isn't a 'husband-type' question, I don't know what is. And if you listen in on our conversations at the office, we even sound like an old married couple....arguing and bickering about petty things (see pulling the rip chord).



He takes naps almost daily on the sofa in the back of the office and asks me to wake him up in 30 minutes. Although, not a bad idea, it's just a bit strange for me.



Next week we are going to a conference in Washington, D.C. Traveling together is waaaay too couple-like. I swear I better not have to sit next to the guy. I need some alone time. He's a bit like a large, old, co-dependent child. He needs constant babysitting - loses things, forgets things, leaves things lying around where they don't belong, usually has a stain on his shirt and tends to wear a colored logo T-shirt underneath his dress shirts. A nanny to a 57 year old man is not what I signed up for....which is a little what every wife says! Oh no!



Being in the wrong job is a lot like being in the wrong marriage. However, this analogy is just too closely related in my case. I really need to get out of this 'marriage'. I've done it before and I can do it again. I'm hoping to meet someone new at this conference! I know it'll break my 'Office Husband's' heart, but hey, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.