As the Christmas season rears it's materialistic, commercialized head, I once again cringe at the thought of all the unnecessary spending that is about to commence. Or if you're one of the 'Black Friday' shoppers who was at the mall at 12.01 a.m. on the 23rd, you've already begun. The whole idea of the way we celebrate Christmas really turns me off, to put it as mildly as I can. The original purpose of Christmas has been completely lost for most people.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not against giving and receiving by any stretch. But isn't it a time to give 1. what is appropriate, 2. what we can afford, 3. from the heart, not the credit card account and most of all 4. a time for giving to those less fortunate? For most people I know, my circle of friends and family, buying ourselves things we want when we want them is pretty common place. So why are we breaking our necks running out to the crowded stores trying to frantically buy someone that special something, that they will just go out and buy themselves if they really want it?
I know I'm sounding like an old Scrooge, but that's not my point at all. I listen to people talk and it sounds like a contest to see who can spend all their money the fastest. People giving their loved ones "lists" of things they want for Christmas. Are you kidding me? Unless you're five, you should not be presenting anyone with a list. If someone truly wants to give me something, I'd rather they give me what they would like to give me. If it happens to be some ridiculous item I neither can use nor want, I will thank them anyway (because after all they were practicing the spirit of the holiday) and creatively find a use for the gift or find someone with a use.
Most people want to give what the person wants to receive, hence the list. If it's the wrong size, color etc., we trudge back to the sh op to return it. Ugh. More shopping. So to avoid that process, we give a list specifying the exact make, model, size, color and even who has it on sale this season, to make it easier on our gift giving friends.
Which brings me to my point. During my mother's last few years with us, she realized, as many of us should, that there really wasn't anything that she needed. And if she wanted something, she'd go buy it herself. She also didn't want us (adult and hard working) kids to spend our money on her. What she was really saying is that she didn't want us to spend our hard earned money on crap she didn't need. She just wanted our company on Christmas day and requested that we give our gift in the form of charity. She didn't care what charity. She simply asked us to choose our favorite charity and give a donation in lieu of gifts to her. That sounded great to us...so we did. And it felt good. Christmas day was simple. We still had a wonderful Christmas dinner, family time, our usual rousing card games and banter. But getting others on board with that idea hasn't been so easy. "What's Christmas without presents?" they often say.
I recently received an email from a friend encouraging this 'alternative to gift giving.' It was a great reminder of those last Christmas's with my mother, the spirit of Christmas and to remember all those who really are in need. I am currently making a very low wage at my job, pet sit for additional money, don't own a car and just got a notice that my rent will go up in January. But I feel extremely fortunate, because in all honesty, I really don't need anything from some store. Sure I have a few simple wants, which I will purchase myself as money permits.
As far as actual gift giving, mine are usually of the consumable, homemade sort. The thought is there, they don't clutter up the house and they have that 'personal' touch. Hope my friends won't be too disappointed when they realize the rest of their gift went to a charity.
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