Stalker Report

A few of you gave me some very sound advice on how to handle this stalker fellow. I really appreciate the feedback. Because I was out of town on business and did not have ample opportunity to cancel this date within a reasonable amount of time, I kept my promise and went on the date. I think calling on the day of the date to say I've had a change of heart might have been a little harsh somehow. So I met him at Elysian Brewery (nothing too dimly lit or romantic in atmosphere) where he says to me "how do you know about this place?" Ummm....I've lived in the area for almost 30 years. He had never been or heard of it, which I found interesting given that he works at Group Health just up the road. Whatever. Everyone can't know everything about every bar in this town. I'll give him a break.

After a couple hours of chatting, he wants to know what the "deal" is with women. We say we want a 'nice' guy, but we really don't. Well, I assured him that I, in fact, DO want to date a 'nice' guy, however, that is not the only quality I look for in a man. As I am sure is the case with most woman (and men) that I know. Nice is not a specific enough description for me to determine if I want to date someone. A lot of people are nice. As a matter of a fact, most people I meet are nice. That doesn't mean we are a match.

I told him what the "deal" was with me. I explained that I was dating other people and that until I find the one person I want to date continually, I am dating. I explained that his constant phone calls, followed up by emails and more phone calls were too much. He needs to back off. He advised me that based on our initial conversation when I told him I was not a phone person, he had toned it way down for my benefit. Wow. If that was the toned down version of this man, I can only imagine what he's normally like.

Besides being an insecure and needy stalker, we really do not have a thing in common. My idea of a romantic evening in might be some nice wine, a cozy fire and a rousing game of scrabble. His was curling up in a blanket to watch Spongebob Square Pants. Need I say more.