I've never been much of a dater. I used to joke that I married my ex-husband because he was the first guy to come along and really treat me well. I was 19 when we met.
In high school I never had a boyfriend, a Steady Eddie to ask to all those Tolos (Sadie Hawkins, girl ask boy dances). I always had to drum up some pal or ask some guy who'd be too nice to say no. It was awful and, although I went through the motions, I was really never thrilled about the actual date portion of the evening. It was more just being part of the event. Usually I was on the committee that planned these dances, so it seemed only natural that I'd attend. But they were never quite as fun as the anticipation- like so many things in life, I've since learned.
So here I am... a 44 year old woman once again trying to date. It's been a long time since I was as excited about the date himself as I was about the outfit I'd wear.
So far the only thing that has developed from the speed dating event last week is a tentative date with #8 and #11 stalker. Yes, #8 (the avid skier) did contact me and we decided to make a date for Sunday pending my arrival back to Seattle from my Eastern Washington work trip. Nice that he is being flexible, but we'll see if I make it back in time.
#11, the stalker, is kinda making me crazy. He calls every day and emails once or twice a day. THIS is why I don't give out my number very readily. And no, this is not in any way 'sweet.' He is a needy, insecure, demanding sort who is getting on my nerves and we haven't even had our first date yet (scheduled for Tuesday). I am seriously considering cancelling. Is it rude to cancel before Tuesday explaining that I've had a change of heart based on our very frequent email and phone conversations? Or is it meaner to go through with the date, and then tell him we are not a match? Neither one seems like a very good option. But option three, feigning serious illness and then never calling him again, is definitely not my style...as much as I wish it were.
I'm just a terrible dater. I wish I were better at it, but when you marry the guy you meet at 19 and stay together for 18 years, you're pretty much going to lack the dating skills that most people develop in their 20's!
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6 comments:
I think you should politely tell Mr. Needy that you have just begun a new, full time job and you are currently putting all dates on hold since your job requires you to be out of town some of the time.
If he is already freaking you out before your first date, I say cancel - NOW!!!
I think this somewhat the same issue your 15 year old niece had with her homecoming date. . . I wasn't much help to her either. ha! 15 or 44 the whole dating thing is rough!
Thank you all for your comments and advice! Really appreciate it! Outcome in my next post!
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