Here I Go Again

Once again I'm unemployed. Or as my friend, Tim, likes to term it, underemployed. Because, after all, I do have my pet sitting business and my quarterly seminar at Discover U. However, these gigs, as fun as they are, aren't quite paying the rent, as meager as mine might be.

So I'm back where I was six months ago- where I've been time and time again during this very extended transition period. Back to answering the same ever pressing questions from concerned friends and family "so what are your plans?" Plans? I need a plan, you say? I've been living on the "no plan" plan for so long I no longer have the ability to plan for next week, not to mention my extended future! Ummm, yeah, tomorrow I plan to go to yoga and Sunday I plan to golf. Oh, and I have a lunch date with a friend on Monday. That's it. No further plans. That's as far out as I am capable of planning.

Why do I have such a hard time making a plan? Or when I do make a plan, it changes the very next day...or hour in many cases. I don't worry much about getting work. There is certainly work in this town if you're not overly picky. Just like there are men in this town if you're not overly picky. Apparently, I'm overly picky in both arenas. I'm still taking temp jobs because I don't want to commit to the wrong job. There are plenty of jobs to be had that will get that pesky rent paid. I've had no trouble finding jobs since my return to Seattle. And I've been able to dabble in a variety of occupations from pet sitting and cleaning animal hospitals to working at the City of Seattle and SAM. However, a year and a half later and I'm no further ahead in the career finding game. When people ask me what I'm going to do next, I feel myself getting tense, my jaws tighten and my heart rate increases a smidgen. I need to have some answer. Something that will stop the questioning! I'm going to be a professional dancer. I'm moving to Oman. I've got a spot on that 40 something year old bachelorette show. Anything besides "I've no idea" would be acceptable. I can tell. These people just want an answer. I can tell from the look on their faces. They need to know I have a plan.

I'm perfectly content with this method of sampling jobs. It's been quite interesting and rewarding in many ways. It's also very stress-free. No corporate politics. No long-term projects that become cumbersome. And I'm all about the freeing of stress in my life. After 11 years as an insurance adjuster and 6 more as an analyst in the insurance industry, I'm certain stress-free is best for my health. However, I think my health is the issue here. This 'sampling' of jobs does not allow for receiving any benefits. No paid vacation, no 401K options, and the biggie...no health insurance.

Socialized medicine, I realize, is a tricky topic and I'm not saying the way other countries operate is the best way. But certainly those of us who are working, contributing to society, paying our rent, but not who are not eligible for health benefits should receive a certain amount of affordable health care when needed.

So once again, I'm feeling that it's time to find that thing. That thing that I am actually good at, that I love (or at least like ... a lot) and just maybe make an actual salary and can receive a certain amount of reasonable benefits to make it a living. This transition bit can be pretty overwhelming some days. Most days it's easy and I don't worry much. But when pet sitting gigs get cancelled, or a doctor visit is well overdo, I begin to freak...just a teensy bit. We'll just see where I land next. It's always a surprise.