A wonderful couple I've known for thirty years just celebrated their 50th Wedding Anniversary. Wow. Fifty years. That seems amazing to me. In this day and age, it is amazing. Marriages don't tend to last "til death do us part." It's more like til the marriage dies for one or both parties.
Ironically enough, I left the Bridal Barn to go work at a law office. The attorney I'm temporarily assisting happens to specialize in "Marriage Dissolution." Oh, how my life takes a turn on a dime. I'm sure there is some lesson here. Can you just imagine me answering the phone one day "Good afternoon, Divorce Attorneys R Us," and it's one of my brides on the other end of the line. Okay, that's morbid, I know. Besides, given the fact that both jobs were/are so temporary, it's highly unlikely.
Some stats:
43% of first time marriages end within 15 years. I signed my divorce papers just one and a half months before our 15th anniversary. This wasn't planned. I did not have this information on hand when choosing to divorce. It's not as if I was thinking, "hmmm...our 15 year limit is about up, better get those papers filed in time."
The average lifespan of a marriage is eight years. Okay, so you get to the seven year itch and then it takes another year to get everything in order?
75% of all divorced people remarry, usually within three years. I'm on the seventh year with no future prospects in place. But I might be an unusual case study. In any case, I'm perfectly happy not being married. However, a partner would be cool, eventually.
Considering how difficult it is to find a partner at age forty-$!&, maybe finding one and getting married at age 18 like my friends and then sticking it out through thick and thin (and I'm pretty sure there were plenty of thick and thin times within that 50 years) isn't such a bad idea. I'm sure it wasn't a 50 year honeymoon. No one is perfect. Today these two are (at least seem to be) happier than ever. And from what I hear from the grapevine (their information sharing daughter) they are having sex like rabbits. OK, besides thinking "Ick, I don't need to know this," I'm both envious and inspired. Maybe my current "lean" years are setting me up for an active later phase that's sure to come.
Regardless of the stats about divorce rates, I feel confident that those family and friends in my life today will be celebrating their Golden Anniversaries as well. I don't know why I feel that way. My pretend-to-be-jaded self aside (I've been accused of being a romantic even), I do believe they will survive til death do them part. For one thing, I'm certainly looking forward to all the upcoming parties. Especially if they are as fun as my friends' party which included a live backyard band and dancing all afternoon on the grass dance floor!
Congratulations Janice and Wayne!
5 comments:
Thanks for another great post!
Certainly not good odds for marriage. I just hope I can beat it!
Or is it 'them'?
Lucky Mom, you will definitely 'beat the odds!'
Since my sister and brother in law also seem to be beating the "odds", they are my current role models for how to keep the marriage going, (25 years and counting). With a mother that was married 5 times, none of the siblings in my family had a healthy template for how to work through issues. But, I believe intent has a lot to do with it, as well as actually liking your mate, (at least most of the time). Lucky Mom has that factor, and my sister seems to also.
I do feel that as we get older we become better equiped emotionally and intellectually to first,pick a compatible partner, and then ride out the bumps that are sure to occur. At least, that's what I want to belive and I'm hoping to test the theory at some point.
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