Friday, October 31, 2008

The Eleventh Hour Costume Crunch

Here it is, once again, Halloween. Five-oh-oh, and I still don't have my custome ready. So typical. When I was a little girl (okay, I'm still a little girl at heart. Aren't' we all?) my mother used to make me a homemade costume every year. I generally went for the frilly girly costumes, i.e. princess, ballerina, Little Red Ridding Hood, fairy Godmother, the usual costumes that require tiara, tutu and colors like pink or red. Not a lot has changed since I was five. Except my mother isn't around to make my costumes for me anymore. How great would that be?

I was invited to go to a party with a friend and, luckily, this friend has an amazing costume closet full of great costumes and accessories to inspire and get the creative juices flowing. I came home with three possible ideas, spent some time at Champions and now I've got to get busy and put something together.

I've got an "I Dream of Jeannie" costume that is really cute, but exposes far too much skin. If I wore this getup, I'd need a full nude colored body stocking to go underneath. Not only because I'm not exactly comfortable with my own skin showing, but it's a little too chilly for that here in the Pacific Northwest. Also, a dude wore the costume last year and I hardly think I could follow his act. But I'm going to slip into it again and see how I feel. It's pretty cute. Actually, it's sexy, but I can't really pull off sexy, so it looks more on the cute side.

My next option is a sexy/elegant witch outfit. It includes a long slinky black dress that requires some serious body shaping undergarment, which I happen to own and have never actually had the cause to wear. However, if I wear this costume, I won't be able to eat or drink all night as I'm attempting to keep from busting the seams. That doesn't sound very festive...or sexy as my face is taking on a look of excruciating pain from sucking in my gut all night.

My final option is a purple fairy-like character with those great fairy wings, wand and purple everything, from wig to pleather pants. Oh, I forgot to pick up some fairy dust.

Okay, off I go to see what I can make from all of these bits. Maybe a witchy fairy with Jeannie's pants. Hmm... that could be interesting...and a bit scary.

Happy Halloween!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Present in the Moment

I seem to be living in a perpetual state of optimism lately. Maybe it's this incredible Autumn I've been going on about. Fabulous weather and I'm unemployed so I can fully enjoy daily walks in the parks and gardens around the city. It doesn't get any better. Unless money grew on these trees I'm walking past. That would make it better I suppose. I seem to be completely forgetting that I am, in fact, unemployed. Or "underemployed" rather. I am picking up various temp jobs here and there and doing quite a bit of pet sitting. Those things are keeping my rent paid at least. But I actually need to come up with a more lucrative plan for my life. Every day I'm researching ideas, working at something or another, and enjoying the moment so much, I can't even really stress about the economy or my own depleting bank account. Somehow I think it'll all work out. How? I don't know. It's a mystery. But I'm sure it will.

Last week I filled in for the receptionist at my sister-in-law's office which was actually quite pleasant. After a couple of days, the staff was joking about hiring me permanently. If only being a receptionist at a law office was my life's ambition, my life would be so much simpler. I appreciated the opportunity, regardless, and will work for them again any time they ask.

Two weeks ago a friend invited me to "Women's Day" at her church. Hmmm...that sounded appealing. A day of women gathering, singing some jazzy uplifting songs and listening to some spiritual sermons about women's issues in today's world, and go out to brunch afterwards. Yeah, why not? I attended and it was all I had expected and more. I left inspired and energized.

Being raised Catholic, I can't say I ever left mass feeling "inspired." Once an adult I basically ceased practicing Catholicism altogether. I'd drop in occasionally over the years and leave resigned that church just wasn't for me, although I always felt I was a spiritual person. I'd visited other types of churches over the years to check them out, but none ever resonated with me. So I just continued to practice my own spirituality in the privacy of my home in my own way. Okay, I realize that makes me sound like I'm practicing witchcraft or voodoo.

Last week I attended my friend's church again. I wanted to experience a 'regular' church day. Was the special Women's Day from the prior week just a one off experience, or was this status quo? Was regular church a drag? Full of pushy religious folks cramming their guilt ridden sinner talk down your throat? No, actually it was not. Again, there were the jazzy uplifting songs lead by some pretty talented and passionate vocalists (if nothing else, the entertainment was exceptional), a timely sermon regarding current events, politics and global issues delivered with a sense of humor, followed up with brunch. At brunch we women continued to discuss the issues brought up during the service and give our input and thoughts continuing the dialog. Again, I returned home feeling enlightened, as well as experiencing a feeling of synchronicity in my life. This I will touch on in future posts. But I sense some things are beginning to pull together for me. Slowly slowly.

I don't even care about "Final Quarter" anymore. I went out with a friend last Friday to listen to a band at Conner Byrnes in Ballard. It was only minutes before we were surrounded by a group of men. While we had a nice time chatting and flirting with them, at 1.50 a.m. I ran to catch the last bus home and my friend also went home alone. The next day she phoned me and we talked about how we really could have gone home with any one of those guys if we had wanted. They were clearly interested, but as it turned out, it wasn't what either of us was after- "final quarter" or not. For us, just having an engaging conversation with some interesting men was enough.

Whatever the cause of my current optimism, I'm going along with it. Between my Landmark Education Seminar, some books I'm reading, these glorious Autumn days, daily exercise and, yes, possibly church, I'm feeling pretty content...for the moment.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Final Quarter 2008

It's been FOUR months. Oh you know what I'm talking about. Umm-hmm- four months since....well...woopie. Yeah, I'm starting to get irritable, developing a nervous tick and my vibrator battery is wearing out. No prospects in the pipeline either.



Last month my brother from California was on a motorcycle tour through the Pacific Northwest and blew into town. We met for lunch and he had a Kiwi from New Zealand in tow. Nice touch. They had intended to have a visit over lunch and jet out to meet up with the rest of their group in Longview. Lunch turned into a mini city tour, which then led to a couple of pitchers of beer. Finally, they needed to either head out to meet their group or give in, continue drinking and stay the night at mine. Once they learned of the bar's pending Karaoke night soon to start, there was no question. My brother claimed he wasn't much into Karaoke until he was properly lubricated. At which time (approximately four beers) you couldn't pry the mic from his paws. So I offered up my sofa and sleeping bag for the two of them if they wanted to crash.



It was a fun night of singing...eh hem...er, wailing into the mic at top decibel and making proper fools of ourselves, dancing and- um- a bit-o-smooching. I'm not sure if the Kiwi was exactly my type or if it was just the four-months-sans-sex looming in that dialog bubble over my drunken head that made me a little, shall we say, frisky.



Back at the ranch at three a.m., I tucked my brother and his friend into their sacks and I proceeded to hit the hay in my own comfy down filled bed. Suddenly in the middle of my passed out state I felt someone giving me pecks on the lips as the Kiwi slithered into my room-- doon doon do- chaka chuck coo (hear Yello's "Oh Yeah" from Secret of My Success here). Yikes- a sexual opportunity I couldn't exactly buy into! My brother was in the next room. Adjoining walls. THIN adjoining walls in a very old apartment. Naw...I just couldn't. Oh, we slept together...but nothing much happened. It was too awkward. And possibly unfortunate. As I look back on the situation later, sober. I wonder, "Was that it? Was that my last chance for sex (safe, nice man sex) for 2008?" It's a valid question (concern). We're now well into fourth quarter.

People are obsessed with the state of the economy and I just don't understand. Economy? How can I possibly worry about the economy when my sexual activity portfolio is looking so grim? We're certain to snap out of this poor economic state. History has proven there will be a turn around. I'm confident my economic portfolio will bounce back. However, my body isn't going to just bounce back. Each day my boobs move south another smidgen, I develop another wrinkle and I realize another saggy this or droopy that. It ain't good. I know the economy will take some time to recover. I just hope my sex life sees improvement while I still enjoy getting naked.

I know I'm not alone here. No one has much sympathy for my drought. In talking with my friends, there is an inordinate number of single, very sexual, over 40 year old women in this town not getting laid on a regular basis. No wonder this city has a reputation of having the highest suicide rate.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Women's Must Do's

Every so often you run across a list of things every woman should wear at least once, e.g. the little black dress, a lacy thong, stilettos, or things every woman should own - a power drill, a wine opener and a Roth IRA. Recently, a friend gave me one of those little gift books with a list of things every woman should do at least once. The contents included:

  • Call in sick and spend the day shopping with your best friend. (I did this once, but my friend and I went to the water park. It was a blast and well worth the pile of work on my desk the next day!)
  • Rent a convertible and go wherever the wind blows (another friend and I drove her boyfriend's Mustang convertible to the beach every day one summer while he was working in Alaska. Oh we got the boys' attention in that thing!).
  • Dance on top of a bar (luckily I was in another country so no one I know here has any recollection of this sorry scene).
  • Run, walk, bike, for a worthy cause (after the MS 150 I have barely ridden my bike since--and I was 29).
  • Invent an interesting past (I'm working on that every day).

Some things that weren't included in the book that I think are worth adding:

1. Travel solo
Extended trip abroad or a weekend at the coast, going solo is a great experience every woman should explore. The trip is all about you. You can clear your head, reflect about your past, your future dreams, or just not think at all. You do what you want to do, when you want to do it. You also meet far more interesting people when you're on your own. It's so liberating, you may decide solo is the only way to go.

2. Visit every state in the Union
Having a layover in an airport doesn't count. I've got about 9 or 10 left to visit myself, topping the list New Mexico and Wyoming, along with a bunch of what I'd deem as the boring states- Kansas, Arkansas, Kentucky, Missouri, Ohio. I'm pretty sure the residents of these states would set me straight and prove me wrong. I'll get to them eventually and see for myself.

3. Visit a foreign country
Although Canada and Mexico do count, try to venture further afield. Delve into a culture you aren't familiar with, one you've always been intrigued by or head back to the land of your ancestors to connect with your roots.

4. Learn a foreign language
Gives you a chance to embrace that other culture and prepares you for #3.

5. Attempt something daring
This is subjective as what is daring for some (that lacy thong) might be commonplace for another. So whether it's an adventure sport like bungee jumping, sky diving or heli-skiing, or something risky in a softer way like performing Karaoke, getting a Brazilian wax or making the first move and asking that hot guy out, take the dare and go for it. There's nothing more exhilarating than proving something to yourself.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Reflections on a Fine Autumn Day

Autumn has always been my favorite season. As a kid growing up in upstate New York (the second largest apple growing state) I'd look forward to the sunny crispness in the air, donning a sweater and our family apple picking outings. It was a major event which included a tailgate picnic and a visit to the local cider mill before returning home with several bushels of yummy McIntosh, Red Romes and Empires.

Our front yard was graced with a grand Maple that shed its colorful leaves in abundance. Much to my brothers' chagrin during the lawn mowing season, our lawn was large and slightly sloped. This made for great leaf jumping contests after raking the dry, crunchy leaves into enormous piles.

As a kid I didn't appreciate all my mom's slaving over baking apple dishes, 'putting up' apple sauce and the squash-based meals. Today these are my favorite delights of the season. When the coffee shops come out with "pumpkin spiced lattes", I'm in latte heaven! Last night, my culinary expert friend cooked me a wonderful meal that included a fabulous homemade butternut squash soup. Mmmm. I'm trying to figure out how I can convince her to cook for me every night!

Autumn is always a nostalgic time for me and this September/October have been no different. The season always reminds me of fresh starts, new beginnings, i.e. pencils, notebooks, new classes, school clothes, and endless possibilities. Maybe that's the reason for my going back to school obsession.

As I enter into the next phase of my life (I seem to be doing this as often as the seasons change) I am encouraged by the possibilities that lie ahead. Anything is possible once the possibility is created.

So here's to fall, which has been pretty amazing this year in Seattle, and to endless possibilities. And as for nostalgia, don't even get me started on Halloween!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Head in the Sand Economic Advice

I'm not exactly known for being "in the know" when it comes to pop culture or news breaking current events. I'm still rather amazed that I witnessed the twin towers disaster as it was happening. How was I even up at that hour, with the TV on no less, watching news? What a toxic thing to start your day with...or end it for that matter. News. This is so not the me of today, that's for sure.

That being said, I have been pretty engrossed in the election process this go 'round. I was out of the country last time and look what happened! I did have an absentee ballot, but I wasn't really "involved" otherwise. And as much as I try to keep my head in the sand, this whole drowning economy discussion is everywhere I turn. I'm one of those people who feels that continually talking about a bad thing doesn't make it better. It makes is 'badder.'

I happened to catch Suze Orman, the financial guru, on Oprah the other day and her top five suggestions for action during this crisis are as follows (I've summarized in my own words of course):

1. Don't Panic (do not become "mattress man"), leave your money alone and keep investing in your retirement plans
2. Be sure you have health insurance and term life insurance
3. Make sure your investments are in safe places i.e. government backed treasury bills, bonds and notes and treasury money market accounts for example
4. Make sure your financial institutions are FDIC insured
5. Stop spending on things you cannot afford (duh-easier said than done for most)

Not having held a proper job since August 2002, I feel like I've been practicing for this day. For the last six years I've nearly mastered the ability to survive in exactly this type of economy. Of course I have credit card debt. I'd love to say I didn't. I didn't until I stepped my big toe back onto American soil. It's almost as if they stamped my passport as I re-entered JFK customs and handed me plastic with debt already on it just to get me started and make me feel welcomed back to my homeland.

Over the past six years I have actually learned to live without a lot of the luxuries I had been accustom to while slogging away at my decent paying soul sucking insurance job. Things like a nice car (or any car for that matter), a house, ski condo, water front recreational property, expensive, yet fabulous, hair cuts with artful color jobs, new skis every three years, boots, and a variety of other expensive sporting equipment, home improvement expenditures, and pretty much whatever else the heart desired. We (my ex-husband and I) were not wealthy by any stretch. But we did OK and although didn't live as extravagantly as some of our more affluent friends, we had our share of luxuries.

Today I manage to ski on 9 (?) year old skis (gasp!) and boots even older. I would love a new setup, but it's not going to stop me from skiing when I have the chance. My golf clubs were my mother's from the early 80's! Yeah, I get poked fun at every time I break them out on the course, but how much do I care? A little. Sure. But if I get to golf at all, I'm pretty excited, so the relic clubs aren't going to stop me.

So here are my top 5 practical ways to get through this economic recession:

1. Don't panic. I like that one of Suze's best. Just calm down, people. This was bound to happen at the rate we were spending, but it's going to turn around. It always does eventually.

2. Don't even open your financial statements if it's going to stress you out. Just put them through the shredder immediately from the mailbox. Then follow with a nice glass of red or a long walk (or both).

3. Find cheap entertainment. I keep harping on this fact, but there is so much to do in this town that is free or cheap, i.e. galleries, free museum days, art walks, park walks, free wine tastings, free musical performances, the library (okay, I hear you sighing). Check out what's happening and go enjoy it.

4. If you absolutely must shop cause it's in your blood and you just can't stand not to, develop the knack for thrift stores. Even if you don't find anything, the entire process is amusing in and of itself and there's your cheap/free entertainment for a rainy day. By the way, I just picked up a cute pair of Kenneth Cole shoes for $3.99 at Goodwill. How could I say 'no?'

5. Participate in some do gooder volunteer activity. Okay, so you're not the volunteering type. You don't have time. You'd just rather not. You've got your own problems. Then just do some favor for a friend with no strings attached. It really does put everything into perspective and make you feel like all isn't lost. Cause it isn't. We've still got our humanity, right?

tips 6-10 include:

6. Practice yoga (or just exercise in general)
7. Book a trip - preferably out of the country (yes, run away from it all)
8. Take on several odd jobs- you'll be too busy to worry or spend money
9. If it's available to you, have sex. Lots of sex. (this is not available to me, so I will do more of #8)
10. Laugh often

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Help Yourself to Some Self-Help

Just back from a five day get-a-way in San Diego. What, exactly, I was getting away from is a good question. The grind of job seeking? Not really. The hectic daily life of mid-day yoga followed by power walks in the autumn sunshine? No. Walking dogs around beautiful Green Lake? Nope- no need to get away from that. My life-style these past few weeks has suited me well, I think. At the request of my former (insane) boss, I worked for him on a two day project last week. I was quickly reminded of why I don't work for him any longer. Decision to quit confirmed a good one(if this situation occurs again, I'll need an intervention from my friends and loved ones).

No, I wasn't really getting away from anything, just off to enjoy the southern California beaches and catch up with my friends down there while I was unemployed and free to travel. I mean, I hadn't been anywhere since, ummm, August. Early August.

As I sat down at my computer today to catch up on emails and take a look at some employment websites, I paused and noticed the stack of books on my shelf. I've got every sort of self-help book imaginable. Not the sort that lonely single people delve into: "Alone Again and Learning to Love It," "Finding Your Soul Mate," or "Will Ever I Love Again?" No, not those kinds of self-help. My stack is of the 'finding your career' nature, which is very similar to the former actually. As I've mentioned in past posts, the similarities between a happy career and a happy relationship are uncanny.

From my distant past life I've got "The Greatest Salesman in the World" by Og Mandino, "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen R. Covey, "Life Makeovers" by Cheryl Richardson and Barbara J. Winter's "Making a Living Without a Job." I'd read them all cover to cover.

Since my return to the states two years ago, I've acquired "Go Put Your Strengths to Work" by Marcus Buckingham, "Life is Short-Wear Your Party Pants" by Loretta LaRoche, and let's not forget "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne (I also saw the video!).

I've got my fair share of writing self-help books as well: "Bird by Bird" Anne Lamott, "Your Writing Coach" Jurgen Wolff, "How to Get Happily Published" Judith Applebaum and I've completed Julia Cameron's "The Artist's Way" twice!

Recently, a friend just shoved into my hands "What Should I Do With My Life" Po Bronson and "Do What You Are" Paul D. Tieger & Barbara Barron-Tieger. "You've got to read these," she insisted. They are still sitting on my dining room table. There is only so much of this stuff a person can absorb in a given period (or lifetime).

Furthermore, another friend involved with Landmark Education ("Innovative Programs for Living an Extraordinary Life") convinced me it was time to sign up for the Landmark Forum in Action Seminar series. I'd attended the Forum several years ago. It was helpful, so I figured why not give the followup series a try. I think my life is pretty extraordinary already (yes, I live in a skewed, warped bubble), but it could be improved upon, certainly. And I seem to have tapped out all the books on the subject matter.

I'm sure if I surround myself with all this positive rah rah, the universe will salute me and I'll be rewarded with wonderful outcomes. Surely.