Going Nowhere for the Moment

Does anyone else dwell on their lifestyle, career, and love life (or lack thereof) as much as I do? I doubt it. I wonder why I am still living in Seattle when I continue to say I want to leave and live somewhere else? What is keeping me here?

I am in an ongoing go nowhere type of relationship that is on the down slide as I think my ongoing go nowhere #8 is getting bored with me and my constant desire for sex (imagine that?). I'm a bit bummed as it's been nice to just date someone semi-regularly for awhile. But how long is an ongoing go nowhere relationship suppose to last anyway? It's got to end eventually I guess.

I do have my eye on a cutie pie waiter at a place my boss and I go to lunch occasionally. He's probably all of 25. Why would anyone older be a lunch waiter at a place called Fat Albert's? Unless, he's really a former IT professional and, like myself, is in his mid-life transitional phase and is actually an aspiring artist waiting for his big break. I can buy that.

I'm in a go nowhere low paying job. The work is interesting (programing and development of inter-cultural educational and training projects), but I can see in just five months it's fairly repetitive with little opportunity for...well...any real opportunities. It just isn't providing what I was hoping in the way of either travel or training ops. The organization is so small that neither pay nor benefits are available either. I've been keeping my eye out, but will have to begin a more active pursuit for career change.

My lifestyle. I am fairly successful at getting around Seattle sans car, but some days are frustrating, trudging around in the pissing rain, missing buses by nanoseconds, and getting out of town is impossible. The last two charming little bungalows in lower Queen Anne were leveled recently and a new condo will be constructed - directly outside my balcony. I LOVE sitting out on my balcony during the summer enjoying the sunshine, view and quiet. Hmmm....the rent just went up and so will the noise and dust factor.

Now, although my whining seems to never cease, I do, in fact, try to live for the moment. If anyone could have seen the view of the skyline last night from my living room window they would probably understand why I'm still here. The huge golden (almost full) moon rose up behind the Space Needle providing a scene that was surreal. I couldn't take my eyes off of it for the longest time. I wanted to call someone to share the moment. But there was no one to call. So I just shared it with myself...and enjoyed every minute of it.