Sex and the City--Positively

After eight years of unsuccessfully running through the dating mill, I thought it might be interesting if I put my friends on the assignment of finding me a good match. After all, who knows you better than your best pals? They probably have a better idea of your type than you do. I was just about to put out an APB advising my girlfriends about town to start the hunt. I'd be up for meeting anyone they thought fit and suitable. This was all just a thought, a plan in my unconventional fantasy world, when a friend said she went out on an eHarmony date recently and thought he was better suited for me. Mid-date she asked her supposed match if he'd be agreeable to meeting a friend of hers. Personally, I probably would have waited until the end of the date, but not my friend. When she sees a possible opportunity to hook two people up, whether professionally or personally, she wastes no time! I think the guy was a little taken aback at first, but he was game. And, of course, so was I.

I asked my friend what it was about this guy that made her think of me. He's a skier, rides motorcycles, and well, she couldn't really put her finger on it, but there were just several things he said throughout their conversation.

After a few email exchanges, we met last Friday at my favorite little neighborhood spot. Within an hour he made a comment about once being in a position of seeing a very large woman in a thong and he'd wished he could erase that vision from his memory. After a comment like that, I had to ask just how that came about. I imagined he'd say he was on a nude beach in Europe or the Caribbean or someplace equally "free". What I didn't expect, was for him to tell me he belonged to a Sex Positive Club. "What the heck is that?" I'm wondering. So I ask. Yes, it's a member's only sex club. Sex rooms, bondage, S&M, torture and the like. Turns out this place is not that far from my apartment. Is that why he offered to meet me in my neighborhood? Or is that coincidence? I ask a few more questions and can tell he's answering a bit more conservatively not to frighten my somewhat conventional self, but I can tell he's feeling me out here-trying to get a sense of just what I'm into. I make it very clear what I'm into and what I'm not into. There's a place for good old fashioned monkey sex and all, but this is way outside of my comfort zone.

Possibly with the hopes of warming me up to some new ideas, he continues with the date anyway. We finished out the evening by heading over to a dueling piano bar, having a few laughs and then calling it a night. I think he may have gotten the impression that since I was having a good time, it meant I was having a good time with him. Men I go out with often get that mixed message.

The next day I was at the ever popular and now famous Fremont Solstice Parade, which sports a lot of nudity and craziness. While standing line for a drink, some character who reminded me of a bad Jim Carey impersonator, begged me to let him buy me a drink. I told him I was "unavailable", but he insisted on buying me that drink anyway. We chatted a bit, but he just reinforced our incompatibility.

Later I was talking to a friend about my ability to reign in the Mr. Wrongs, and her take is that I'm sending out a message to the universe that I'm not ready for a "real" relationship yet, because I'm having far too much fun being free and single. I think this insightful friend may be right. I cannot come up with any other logical explanation.

That being said, I am still open to my friends setting me up. It does make my life interesting.