Thursday, December 31, 2009

Merry Bah Humbug and a Happy New Year

Wow. What a season. It was busy and full of the usual holiday festivities. There was a definite "Merry Bah Humbug" in the air. In one sense the holiday season drives us crazy. For instance those piped in Christmas carols in every store. I love holiday music, but you hear "Jingle Bells" screeching over the speakers at Macy's one too many times and you begin to cringe at the sound of all carols, sung anywhere...even in church, where they most certainly belong.

I love Christmas cookies, especially sugar cookies. They are the quintessential holiday treat. I practically live for them. I didn't bake any myself (way too much work in my tiny kitchenette) but I figured co-workers and clients would be bestowing cookies and treats on our office all month long. Wrong. Not one cookie entered the halls of AKJ Law. Not that my waistline needed such extravagance, but sheesh, it's Christmas. I wanted a damn cookie! Shaped like a tree maybe or a star...with those little green and red sprinkles on it. To make matters worse, my ex-mother-in-law was the queen of Christmas cookies and treats. I was lamenting to a friend about how I'd wished I 'd at least gotten a few recipes off that woman before my divorce. A few days later, I receive an email from this same friend bragging about the plate of "Marge's cookies" she just plowed through. She and my ex-husband are still friends. Sigh.

And don't even get me started on the crowds and all the mad spending. I'm running shopping errands during my lunch break so, of course, I'm in a hurry. Invariably, I'm stuck behind the lallygaggers who are strolling through the stores getting in my way. On one hand I'm annoyed by their lackadaisical pace, on the other I'm quite envious. Why aren't I slowly meandering through the shops holding hands with my sweetie savoring the Christmas moment?

Then there is the big question of the year, what to buy for whom? It's like everyone is traipsing through the stores seeking the best way to throw their money away. "Would you like a gift receipt with that?" the sales woman asks. "Hell yeah, cause I'm pretty sure Mary Sue is going to want to return this piece of crap anyway." Why do we spend so much time searching to spend? I do the same. I refuse to cave to the gift card idea and insist on giving an actual gift- something the receiver can "open". Except I am so bad at it. I ponder far too long and then all the good stuff in the right sizes and best colors are gone. And the scales of equality are all off kilter. Someone you normally exchange small tokens with suddenly presents you with an extravagant gift. There is just no way to feel good about that exchange.

Yeah, the Christmas season is full of traditions that can make any person at least a little crazy. But then there are the wonderful bits. Like the lights and decorations downtown that are so elegant and cheery, you can't help but feel the spirit. The Ginger Bread House display at the Sheraton and The Figgy Pudding Caroling Contest that is full of talent and surprises. The Christmas shows, plays, musical entertainment throughout the month of December at a variety of prices (including free) so everyone can find something to celebrate the season. This year I attended the Cirque de la Symphony at Benaroya Hall (highly recommended for the spendier lot) and the Improv Christmas Carol at the Pike Place Market Theater (a very affordable, entertaining must see).

My number one favorite Christmas thing, however, is my little 3-4' table top Christmas tree. Decorated in ornaments from various places I've visited and full of memories, it's my 'feel good' moment when I plug in those lights as soon as I get home. Because of its size, the entire process of getting the tree, putting it up, dragging out the Xmas box, decorating and cleaning up all took approximately 2 hours of my precious time. Small commitment for such great pleasure.

Getting through Christmas is only half the battle, as New Year's Eve follows on its heels in full force. Everyone wants to know what you're doing for New Year's. New Year's is one of those holidays that is reminiscent to those high school Tolos. The dances where the girls have to ask the boys to go with them. I always played along, but in hindsight I realize I hated those dances. The pressure of who to ask (I never had a steady boyfriend to go to those stupid things with), shopping for the perfect outfit, planning the evening events, getting the picture taken at the dance, and the inevitable -- never going out with the boy again.

New Year's Eve seems to have the same flavor. All week long people are asking me what my plans are. Usually, I make a plan, go to a party, go out of town, whatever it is, it seems to be a bit of a let down in the end. The ever ending traipsing around in search of a bad party. That damn clock ticks over to 12.00 midnight everyone around me is kissing someone. In the end, I go home alone and wake up to ponder another year...usually hung over from all the booze the night before.

This year, although there were plenty of opportunities to go out, dress up, and bring in the new year with others, I just wasn't in the mood. So I vowed to stay home and watch the Space Needle fireworks from my livingroom window. With a bird's eye view of the Needle, I am going to settle in, with a glass of bubbly, my tree lights on, reflect on my weird little life and watch the show. My first New Year's Eve alone. I love trying new things.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

TMI - How Much Is Too Much?

My friend and I are signed up to participate in a Speed Dating event this week. As some of you may be aware, I am familiar with the speed dating arena. Although I’m no expert, I'm somewhat seasoned in the art of the six minute date.


My friend, however, is a Speed Dating novice. She’s been divorced for just over a year ( one year, four months and four days….give or take). Actually, I may be dragging her to this event against her better judgment. However, she'd been in a relationship with her ex-husband for 20-some odd years. It’s weird out in the dating world these days and practice makes...err...perfect?


In a recent discussion with another friend who is going through a divorce and starting to date again, the topic of how much personal info to divulge on the first date arose. Just how much of your baggage do you share and how early in the game do you share it? It’s a sticky situation. There's not an easy answer. We strive to be honest and upfront, without being overly honest or upfront where it isn’t really warranted.


For example, one woman, I’ll call Fran…just because I’m pretty sure no one who reads this blog knows anyone named Fran, and I am trying to keep Fran’s situation anonymous. Fran was involved with a woman a while back. It was a semi-serious relationship, not one of those "college experiments". Fran and her partner were a “couple.” The relationship ended and they each went their separate ways eventually. Fran soon began dating men again. On a recent first time man-date, she was struggling as to whether she should reveal her “lesbian lover episode” to her new potential love interest.

Should she place ALL her baggage out on the table right from the get-go? Or should she just present a smaller version, say more of a carry-on size bag, to this new chap? If she puts it all out there, she risks the chance of scaring him off too early…unnecessarily. Maybe a carry-on is even too much info at this early stage. Maybe just a sleek stylish tote would be more appropriate, i.e. “ I’ve been with a woman.” That seems less daunting maybe. This would either intrigue the fella…or scare him off, if he’s a true conservative. If the latter, Fran probably isn't that interested…given her past and all. Obviously, she is more open minded, and would probably appreciate a man who was a tad more open minded as well.

Last night I was out with a group of women friends and one woman was entertaining us with a new internet dating story (women thrive on this stuff!). Apparently, the dude was yammering on (and on) about everything and asking NO questions of my friend, who was politely trying to listen but in reality making a Christmas shopping list and get-a-way plan during this guy's monologue. The final straw was the point when he told her he was fired for sexual harassment when he was on the police force, but it settled before having to go to trial. Whoa! Did he really just say all that? On a first date? In a coffee shop? I think it was at this point my friend perked up, shook off her daydreaming and knew it was time to call it a night. That is just too much information, a full-sized heavy load of luggage revealed way too early.

When meeting someone for the first time, it’s best to keep it minimal. Give just enough info to keep it interesting, but not so much your date misinterprets the true you- the you you are trying to portray.

During the speed dating event, we have 6 minutes to determine if there is a connection or not. Six minutes to tell our story and gather a bit of our dates’ stories. Six minutes to decide if this is someone we’d like to hear more about and get to know further. And six minutes to reveal our positive attributes and attract the interest of those we are interested in.

With regard to exposing any baggage within this six minute period, a small, coin purse…one with some pretty little beadwork or bling…set out on the table discreetly, would be more than enough for a first meeting to keep it interesting and lively without revealing the entire set of Samsonite.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

A Discussion With The Dude Upstairs

So I made it through my least favorite month; that grey, wet, windy month of November. A friend pointed out to me that there was, in fact, only one sunny day in November and that day was the Friday after Thanksgiving. I didn't google the weather for the month, but she is probably correct. The month itself actually wasn’t so bad. I was super busy pet sitting, studying, reading, bookclub-ing, yoga-ing, and hanging with friends. Went to a couple of free shows and cheap concerts and basically just enjoyed myself. Almost forgot it was crappy old November there for awhile.

I’ve also, like the majority of the population these days, been job hunting. Not that I've ever stopped the job hunt completely, but I've turned up the volume once again. My current temp job finishes at the end of the year. The law offices of “Bickerstein, Gossipski, and Grumpfeld” are closing their doors for good. Although I’ve actually enjoyed working there for the most part, it is time to move onward, once again, in search of that ‘real live’ employment opportunity (one that comes with health benefits preferably). I’ve had some good leads recently, however, that’s all they’ve amounted to so far. Leads. Nothing has come to fruition as of yet. But I keep looking and keep praying. It goes about like this:


Me: Dear God, please send a perfect-for-me job my way.
God: Sure thing, WW, what is it you want specifically?
Me: Gee God, I don't know exactly, but it should be lucrative and flexible...I'm not really a morning person...
God: Uh Huh, what else?
Me: Ummm...oh I don't know...it should be fun, suit my skills, rewarding.
God: Okay, details?
Me: Oh, I don't know. You must have some thoughts. You know me better than me. Just do whatever you think is best. I'll stand by. Thanks, God!
God: Oiy vey.

In the meantime, while I wait for God to reach into his bag of tricks on my behalf (and somehow I’m pretty sure I’m not first on his agenda), I’m just going to continue what I started in November and enjoy December!