Fly the Friendly Skies...or Just Walk

Besides becoming ridiculously expensive, air travel has become down right exhausting. It used to be fun to travel by air. You'd go to the airport and after check in, zip through security and head to the bar to have a celebratory cocktail to kick off the start of your tropical vacation. Once on the aircraft you'd hunker down with your 5 x 7 inch foam puff called a pillow and scratchy, yet, warmish blanket. A meal was served, the flight attendants were pleasant, cheerful even. You'd reach your destination and retrieve your luggage from baggage claim and be merrily on your way.



Today's scenario is much more grim. First of all, just getting through security involves the patience of Jobe. Wearing flip flops, no belt, no jewelry, and removing your fillings beforehand will speed things up. Rather than one of those plastic bins, I seem to require three plus the plastic dish for my bracelets, rings and hair clip. By the time you remove your shoes, remove your laptop, don't let your laptop case touch your laptop, make sure everything is flat, your purse is in a separate bin, your cardigan sweater is removed, you realize there is no time for that relaxing pre-flight cocktail!

You walk through the security pass thru, practically naked by now, and rush to gather your belongings while the other bins from those behind you are crashing into yours and you are attempting to stuff your feet into your shoes and put your belt on at the same time to get out of the way and keep the line moving.

The poor airline industry is suffering and we, the consumers, suffer the most. Over the past three weeks I've had the pleasure of working with four different airlines.


United Airlines. At work, our Cypriot participants flew in from Cyprus on United. They came in two groups, one flew in from Turkey, the others directly from Cyprus. The first group were due in on a Sunday evening, however, their flight was cancelled from Chicago to Seattle via Las Vegas. Just cancelled. Not delayed. Not postponed. Just flat out cancelled. Our two Turkish Cypriots, one of them disabled, were on their own in Chicago to figure out how to get to Seattle. They finally arrived at 1.00 a.m. Monday morning. The second group, a group of 17, were due to arrive on Monday afternoon at 2.30 p.m. We received a call in our office at 10.00 a.m. that their flight had been cancelled. Not delayed. Not postponed. Just flat out cancelled.



Apparently, the crew were over their flight hours and there were no backup crew members available. Was this scheduled flight a surprise? Did someone completely forget to book crew for an entire plane? The airlines suggested they keep the group on standby and get them onto planes as seats became available. The agent actually said that with other delays from other cities, it's probable that many people will miss their connections and our participants can get those seats...if they are, in fact, available. That sounds ideal. Have our group sit in the airport endlessly awaiting the possibility of a seat or two here or there as they may or may not arise. And what are we suppose to do here in Seattle? Drive back and forth to the airport several times throughout the day fetching these folks and getting them to their hotel? No, no. Unacceptable. The solution was, of course, to keep the group together and get them on the next available flight. This turned out to be the following day. They arrived on Tuesday night at 8.30. They lost an entire day of their scheduled program in Seattle.



Last week I was in Colorado for my cousin's wedding when his two daughters' flight was cancelled going back to New York. The airlines - United.


Unlike the days of yore where all airlines pretty much offered the same 'perks', today each airline has something different going on. I flew Frontier on my way to the wedding. I'd never flown Frontier before. It was comfortable enough, but no free snacks at all. No cookies, no nuts. We did receive a complimentary beverage, however. And I was still allowed the one checked in piece of luggage.


American Airlines, flown from Denver to DC, made me cough up an extra $15 for my one checked luggage. Of course I had to check it because I had all my lotions, potions, liquids and gels to transport. I also was traveling for work and play so already had a laptop and tote to carry on. Once on the plane, pillows and blankets (thin, felt, fabric thingy- but who's going to complain? At least I got one.) were provided, as well as a complimentary beverage. No little screens were installed on the back of the seats and no movie offered.



Because of the luggage fee, every passenger drags on every bit of luggage and attempts to stuff it under the seat, overhead, on their laps, in the front pouches of their seats, you name it. How, exactly, is this checked luggage fee saving the weight on the plane? Are they unaware of the fact that the weight is still on the plane? And by the looks of some of my fellow passengers it appears that if I just ate my luggage, I could avoid paying any excess charges. As far as the baggage crew, do they think they are saving on manpower costs to put the luggage on the plane? Wait until the surge of L&I claims come flooding in because the on board crew are forced to help the passengers wrestle with their heavy carry ons in the overhead compartments!


From DC to Seattle it was Jet Blue. Jet Blue has the cushiest, roomiest seats of all of them. They boast the most legroom of any airlines. I think they might be right. The passengers wedged in the window and center seats could actually exit the row without the aisle guy having to get up! They did offer a variety of snacks including chips, cookies, animal crackers, nuts, trail mix and some stuff I can't remember because the list was actually quite long. However, you had to pay $7.00 for a blanket and another fee for a pillow-like object. The headsets for the individual little personal screens cost $1.00, payable 'on your honor' at the gate. Oh, and they didn't charge for my one checked bag.



I guess the little differences keep you on your travel toes. You need to pack snacks, a pillow and blanket. Travel light and only take a carry on (buy your lotions and potions at your destination). Soon we're going to be hauling our own luggage down into the belly of the plane and retrieving it ourselves. Actually, that might not be such a bad idea. At least we'd be assured of getting it upon arrival!



As for the crews, it seems they are getting older, wider and crabbier yet doing less. Hell, if I didn't have to feed 300 passengers a crap meal, hand out blankets, pillows and snacks, I think I'd be in a better mood. But that's just me.


With air travel being what it is, it might not be a bad idea to promote hitch hiking again. It made more sense. Share the gas, meet interesting new people, see the countryside, plenty of drive-thrus when hungry or thirsty, rest stops for potty breaks. Chances are, you'd get where you're going a lot faster with a lot less hassle.