A Busy or Simply Satisfying Life?

The other day in my 'ESL Talk Time' session at the Seattle Public Library, we went around the room and said one word to describe the culture in the country we were born. My word was "busy". I remember feeling overwhelmingly busy in my pre-Europe days. I had something going on every night after work, i.e. working out, classes, meetings, a night out with the girls, paying bills, cleaning house, yard work, Thursday night grocery shopping before a busy weekend filled with social events, family commitments or home improvement projects. The busy schedule, while fun most of the time, also wore me out.

My lifestyle in Europe moved at a much slower pace. I didn't own a home, so no house projects or yard work called to me. I had a handful of friends and no family members so my social life was limited yet still full and rewarding. I spent many days alone exploring the parks and cobbled alleyways of the European cities I inhabited. Between teaching English classes, I would spend an hour or two sitting on a park bench writing, reading, or simply people watching, meeting a fellow teacher for coffee or just walking around discovering new shops or hidden gems. If there were several hours of downtime between classes, a mid-morning nap might have been in order. After all, European nightlife frequently spilled into the wee hours of the morning.

It wasn't long after coming back to Seattle, that my old, hectic, and overly stuffed lifestyle took up residence in my world again. Admittedly, I have a very difficult time saying no to invitations, or keeping my schedule limited to one commitment at a time. Overbooking too many things in one day usually results in me being late and, generally, just not 'being present'. I am working on that, however.

Amy Krouse Rosenthal said it best in her book "Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life".

"How have you been?"
"Busy.

"How's Work?"
"Busy."

"How was your week?"
"Good. Busy."

"You name the question, "Busy" is the answer. Yes, yes, I know we are all terribly busy doing terribly important things. But I think more often than not, "Busy" is simply the most acceptable knee-jerk response."

Amy is right. Every time someone steps into the elevator with me at the office and asks how I'm doing, I blurt out "busy" without even thinking. No one honestly cares how busy I am. They're all busy too. It's not a contest, but suddenly everyone is explaining just how busy they really are. And to be honest, most of my busy isn't anything compared to other people's busy. I don't have that house and yard to maintain, no children to raise and run to soccer games, no elderly or ailing parents.

Last Thursday marked the anniversary of my mother's passing away. I thought of her, as I do most every day. I thought about how she'd respond if she heard me moan about being so busy. This woman had six kids and a huge four bedroom house to keep up. She knew busy. All the lunches to pack, meals to cook, laundry, shopping, cleaning. It wasn't until some of the older ones moved out, that she had some well-deserved time to herself.

My busy is all self inflicted; going to local events, yoga, reading, writing, meeting friends, a show, play or concert, working late a few nights a week, my recently added volunteer night at the library, a class I choose to take, spending time with Mr. Wonderful. I do have a lot of interests, as well as interesting people in my life, and want to take it all in, but it's all by choice. So why should I answer "busy" with an exasperated sigh when someone asks how I am? I have resolved to, at the very least, come up with better adjectives like "active", "occupied", "on the go", "rewarded", or in the case of the question posed in the office elevator, "employed".