The Serious Business of Bridezilla Wear

Lots to learn in the bridal industry I’m finding out. It’s not just selling a fancy dress to the Princess Bride as I’d expected. From the first day when my manager sent me home with three bridal magazines to ‘study’, along with books “The Law of Attraction” and “Jeffrey Gitomer’s Little Red Book of Selling”, I knew she was a bit more serious about this stuff than I’d ever be. Okay, fine, I’ll play along. Besides, as everything in my life, it’s only temporary. It’s also an opportunity to learn something different and experience something new.
The first day of work found me engulfed in a sea of white. Every dress looked the same to me; big, fluffy, lacey, flouncy and white. Lots of white. Later I learned they were not all white. They were varying shades of white, diamond white, ivory, natural, dark ivory. Learning the fabrics is even more complicated. Satin, silk satin, silk/poly blend satin, Japanese satin, Indian silk, taffeta, silk satin taffeta, Duchess, silk crepe, silk organza, silk voile is just a start in my very long lesson on fabrics. My mentor lost me after the satin. I was frantically trying to take notes, but when I went back to review it was all just a bundle of words that really made no sense at all.
Next are the silhouettes: sheathe, mermaid, trumpet, A-line, ballroom. Sounds easy enough until you’re caught putting a trumpet in with the A-lines. The difference is very subtle when on a wooden hanger- believe me!
Alencon lace, French lace, Chantilly lace – wait, isn’t that a song?
“Don’t worry, you’ll learn,” my mentors assure me. Oh really? I’m not so sure. This is a temp job, after all. Technically it’s an 8 week gig. The learning curve for a non-fashionista like me could be a lot longer. Just when I think I’m starting to distinguish a Pronovias gown from a Paloma Blanca gown, I’m stood corrected.
After a week studying my books, taking copious notes, pouring through racks upon racks of the fluff, I start to become more familiar with the inventory. Knowing the inventory is key for a successful sales consultant. Clearly. Then walk in a gaggle of bridesmaids and I’m the only one available to assist. Crap. Bridesmaids’ dresses are a whole other ball game. They come in a lot more colors, shapes and styles. And so do the bridesmaids. One wedding party will contain a variety of heights, shapes, body issues to hide, body issues to augment, and ONE bride to please. After spending an hour with a group of girls trying to decide upon the chocolate brown or the truffle for their dresses, I learn by going on the designer’s website that neither color is still available in the particular style of their choice. Our in-store color swatch book is out of date. ARGH. The whole process of buying a wedding gown and the accompanied bridesmaids’ dresses is about like buying a car. Actually, I think people put less time and effort into buying their car. This job requires a good deal of acting as well. While my face is smiling and saying “this is the perfect gown for your lovely figure,” my cynical old mind is saying “chances are you won’t even be married to this guy in five years, so save your dough or spend your money on something you can really use, like a nice vacation.”