Old Dog, No Tricks?

The older I get, and somehow it does seem to keep happening, the older the men who are attracted to me get. Sure I still get hit on by the 'Cougar Hunter'. You know, the young bucks who think any woman over 40 is a Cougar and willing and eager to put out for a young piece of meat. Those days have passed. I've sowed my oats during my Eurotramp years after my divorce. While those trysts were fun at the time and served their purpose, now I'd like an actual relationship of a sort. If I'm going to be with someone, I'd like to dig him, have some things in common and still keep my independence in fairly full-form.


That being said, I still require a healthy and active sex life with said partner. Unfortunately, the reality is that most of these older men (and by "older" I mean basically my same age) either lack sex drive or just simply can longer perform (I'm assuming they once did anyway).


One friend of mine has a theory that since older men no longer have the sexual drive, they also lack the drive to even approach women. A man's desire to meet and approach a woman stems from his sexual desires. We witness this phenomenon all the time in bars, clubs, and other venues where there are loads of 20-30 year olds looking to "hook up". On the contrary, if the desire isn't so strong or is absent altogether, the men tend to stick within their own group of guys barely even noticing women, no less approaching them. They may want to meet a partner to spend time with, but the drive to make much of an effort certainly doesn't seem to be present.


The older boyfriend of another friend was joking around with his buddies about having such a low sex drive at his age (early 50's), that sometimes he has to weigh out whether he'd rather, say, eat a Bratwurst (fully loaded with Sauerkraut), or have sex? He admits, for many men, the Bratwurst often wins out. This is a depressing thought. Do I need to start hanging out at hot dog stands to get a man's attention? Maybe I need to own a hot dog stand. I guess that would only get me close to men who choose the dog over sex. Never mind.

This may explain why a very glamourous friend of mine was recently trying her hardest to flirt with the hot dog stand guy at an event and could not, for the life of her, get his attention.

According to several articles, there are some positives to dating men over 40. One bonus noted was that what they lack in quantity, they make up for with experience and quality. The friend with the over-fifty Bratwurst boyfriend would concur. I suppose I'll need to keep experimenting with that theory.

I don't know what the answer is here. Hope for an older guy who's still got it? Have a serious relationship with the mature guy and keep a sexually satisfying young thing on the side? Or just buck up, be a big girl and face the reality? This dreamer is still adjusting to the reality of going back to her corporate gig. Let's keep these life realities to a minimum. It's rough to squelch all my fantasies at once.

Neighbor Noise- New Neighbor/New Noise

After a pipe burst in the apartment above me last March, causing water damage to eight units (including my own), the noisy sex couple moved out of their fourth floor "penthouse." I hadn't realized this until I went upstairs to inform all my neighbors about the cat burglar incident and advise them to keep sliders and windows locked.

A man I'd never seen before opened the door, big guy, very friendly, said he just moved in a couple weeks prior. As it turns out, dude snores like a freight train. Which is worse, the noise of something as personal as people having sex, or the constant drone of very loud snoring? At least the sex would end at some point. The snoring continues on all night. The man said "we just moved in" and I'm wondering if he really meant "we". Is there another person living with him? If so, how is she/he getting any sleep? If he's keeping me awake an entire floor below, how can someone right next to him be getting any rest? And I'm only assuming that it's he that is doing the snoring. It is possible that his partner is the culprit.

I've tried earplugs, eye mask, and chamomile tea to calm my nerves and lull me into the most relaxed state before bedtime. But all I can hear is that nasty nasal noise.

One of my favorite and most memorable books from high school is "My Petition For More Space" by John Hersey. In the book the main character, living in an 8 x 12 foot dorm, is standing in a long line to petition for a bit more space. Here I am living in a very spacious one bedroom apartment, all to myself, with a fabulous view, a large balcony, and plenty of comforts and I feel 'crowded' by my neighbors' most intimate sounds. The sounds of sex, sleep, toilet flushing, shower water running just seem like sounds we shouldn't be sharing with total strangers. However, that is apartment dwelling.

Would it be rude for me to anonymously place a box of "Breathe Right" nasal strips outside my neighbor's door? Should I just knock on the door and explain that since he is new to the building, and on the top floor, he is probably unaware that noise travels downward (hint hint) and let him know I can hear everything? Or do I just buck up and buy more effective earplugs?

The Weather Outside is Frightful- Make that Delightful

"December Storm" 2008 is underway, and just like every year our fair city can't handle the flakes and shuts down almost completely. Lack of snow removal equipment, a surplus of steep hills and drivers who, frankly, just aren't used to driving in inclement conditions result in a dysfunctional city when the snow arrives.

This year schools decided to mitigate damages by cancelling school on Wednesday because it might snow. It didn't. By Wednesday night the storm (second one in a week) came through and blanketed the region with a few inches resulting in school closures on Thursday and offices being closed.

I was downtown finishing up some errands and shopping for my trip and, although there were a few people walking around, it was sparse enough to be a bit eerie. As if the retailers weren't suffering enough, now we have a snow storm that keeps people housebound. I walked through Pike Place Market and the few vendors who did make it in to open their stall, looked very maudlin. The looks on their faces said "please, buy something- anything."

Personally, I love the snow and even the cold doesn't bother me much. I find this weather so much more inspiring than the usual torrential rains we get this time of year. It's, of course, easy for me since I don't actually need to be anywhere and my business isn't losing money. So, sure, I can have my Polly Anna positive outlook while others are suffering.

The complaint I can't buy, however, is how after one day at home several people have moaned about being a shut-in. C'mon, it's been a day. One day. You mean to tell me you can't just enjoy one day at home alone? You can't find things to keep you busy if you're a Type A individual? You can't just take the opportunity to hunker down with some tea and read that book you never seem to have time for? I could stay home for a week alone and never get bored. Walking in the snow is invigorating and if bundled properly, very safe. I've got a Dr. Seuss stack of books to read. That pile of movies the Lacey man sent me is still unwatched. Plus, Christmas is approaching. Bake cookies, get creative with your Christmas wrapping, make your New Year's plans. I don't know. Just embrace the situation and stop complaining. It's what is so, so enjoy it!

Working Smarter, Not Harder

I certainly need some lessons on this motto. It's been five years since my escape from the cubical farm corporate gig that made me crazy. Spinning my wheels on endless projects that meant nothing to me, excessive meetings about nothing, late nights and fluorescent lighting that drained your energy were what led me to a six month sabbatical.

Once in Europe I was poor, but living a much more relaxed life style. Until I joined the ranks of the tourism industry during the summer months. Then I remembered why I had been on sabbatical! For those who have ever experienced the tourism industry, you know what I'm saying. It is not for the faint of heart.

Well, neither is my current position. It seems to be a bit of a cross between the corporate madness of looming deadlines, sitting in front of a computer screen all day and frantic phone callings trying to pitch an idea to someone who would really rather not be listening and the complicated logistical planning and glorified babysitting job of tourism.

The job sounded pretty interesting when I interviewed. And basically it is interesting. We develop and administer educational training program worldwide. Sounds like it'd have all the components of my 'perfect job': education (I love to teach), writing, travel, public speaking, and hosting. True, the job does possess most of these components in some way. However, I've seen no travel opportunities come my way, the writing is of the technical nature, not the creative kind (typical in the workplace, of course) and I don't get to DO the teaching, I just plan the programs for others to do the teaching and training. I'm as high in the company as I can go. There is the president and me. We do have an intern who works two days a week and just recently I talked him into hiring a bookkeeper (another one of my many duties, and not my forte).

So, I'm working like a dog, still babysitting dogs because my 9-5 gig doesn't pay very well, I'm working late on a Friday night and I'm reminded of the phrase "work smarter, not harder." I'm going to need to dwell on that over the weekend and come up with some solutions! I am going to the NAFSA : Association of International Educators annual conference at the end of the month and will be doing some heavy networking.